CDH—A Term That Changed Everything

I’m veering off course in my blog today in honor of CDH Awareness Day. CDH stands for congenital diaphragmatic hernia. Though it’s a term most people have never heard, it’s as common as cystic fibrosis and spina bifida. The hole in the diaphragm allows for the abdominal organs to enter into the chest cavity leaving little room for the affected lung(s) to develop. To this day, 50% of the babies born with CDH do not survive and those who do face a lifelong battle with complications.

CHERUBS, one arm of CDH International, is a charitable support organization for those affected by this affliction. To help spread awareness, CHERUBS asks us to share our story. Read on if you would like to know Hillary’s story told through her mother’s eyes. I imagine most everyone reading this blog has played a role in her life—I thank God for each of you.

“Mrs. Leipold, your baby has a diaphragmatic hernia.” Those were the words delivered by a doctor following an echocardiogram in March 1996. Those words were game-changing. An ultrasound in January had picked up a suspected problem and resulted in a referral to a specialist in Pittsburgh.

Following the CDH diagnosis we had about a month to digest it before meeting with the pediatric surgeon and chief neonatologist at Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh. Things were much different 23 years ago in terms of technology. I was just starting to use email at that time and “googling” was not yet a thing, at least not to me. Like most parents of CHERUBS, my husband and I had never heard of CDH. Our primary means of educating ourselves about CDH was through the doctors. When we met with the neonatologist and surgeon in April, I didn’t even know what questions to ask because I knew so little about it. That appointment was completely overwhelming because the medical jargon went right over my head. Being a math teacher, there was one thing I could understand at that appointment—percentages. My big take away that day was that our baby girl had a 50% chance of surviving IF she was born in the right place at the right time. The odds were substantially worse if she wasn’t. We set a date for a c-section that day with the hope that Hillary would stay put until June 14. She was expected on June 30th. At that time, we lived about 2.5 hours from Pittsburgh. One thing that reinforced the severity of the situation was being told that if I went into labor before the scheduled c-section, they would take me by helicopter to Allegheny General. Yes, that got my attention! I remember crying the whole way home from that appointment.

The two months following that appointment were the longest two months of my life. There was just so much uncertainty. We were (and still are) blessed with a wonderful support system in the form of family and friends. They rallied around us during the wait for Hillary’s arrival and have been with us every step of the way since. A few weeks before she was born, I experienced my first panic attack. I was anxious for her to come into this world, yet scared to death what might happen once she did. There were a lot of  “what if” scenarios playing out in my mind.

When we flipped the calendar to June, I went to stay with my sister and her family, who lived near Pittsburgh, in order to be closer to the hospital just in case Hillary decided to come out and play before the scheduled c-section. Thankfully, she was content right where she was. Hillary Jayne was born, as scheduled, on June 14, 1996, my parents’ 43rd wedding anniversary.

Again, we did not have the technology that we have today back in 1996. After Hillary was born, she was whisked away and put on a special oscillating ventilator immediately. A nurse brought me my “first picture” of Hillary once she was stabilized a few hours later. It was a Polaroid. Those are the only pictures I have to tell of Hillary’s early days. I was not able to see her with my own eyes until the following day.

Hillary was paralyzed by narcotics for the first week of her life in order to help stabilize her in preparation for her repair surgery. That surgery took place when she was 6 days old. It’s interesting what I remember nearly 23 years later as I write her story. I’ll never forget the words of the anesthesiologist just before they wheeled Hillary off to the OR. She said, “I suppose I don’t need to tell you how sick your child is.” The stress-o-meter was through the roof BEFORE she opened her mouth. I wanted to slap her, but thought better of it! When the surgeon came to the waiting room to talk to us following Hillary’s repair surgery, I simply burst into tears. I didn’t even know what he had to say yet. Dr. Hechtman was able to relocate the organs that had moved up into her chest cavity to the general vicinity of where they were intended to be and patch her diaphragm together. She was able to keep her spleen, but we found out in the last few years that it is located front and center rather than in the upper left quadrant of her abdomen under her ribs.

The Summer of ’96 was quite the rollercoaster ride. Dr. Null, the chief neonatologist, described Hillary’s journey quite well as the summer wore on. He said it was a series of “two steps forward, one step backwards.” That, it was. She made pretty good progress during the first month following surgery. I was thrilled to hold her for the first time on July 9. Then it got a little rocky. The surgeon decided to perform a bronchoscopy in an attempt to open her left lung a bit. We THOUGHT it was an overwhelming success only to find out a few hours later that it was just the opposite. She had a hole in her lung! She went back on the special oscillating ventilator temporarily and inherited a chest tube as a result. Shortly thereafter we learned that her formula was leaking into her chest cavity and there was yet another hurdle to jump. The forward progress trumped the setbacks and Hillary was discharged from the hospital on September 9 when she was 88 days old. My second panic attacked occurred the weekend before her release when I realized that my husband and I would now be responsible for her care. I wasn’t qualified!! That brings me to one of my favorite quotes—“God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” He called my husband and I to be Hillary’s parents and has been equipping us for that role ever since.

We brought Hillary home with a monitor, but thankfully she did not need oxygen. There is nothing quite like hearing that monitor go off in the middle of the night! It is pretty hard NOT to be a basket case as a parent of a CDH baby. The antennas go up with every cough, sniffle and sneeze. Any unusual pain puts us on high alert. You just want to put them in a bubble so harm cannot reach them. However, since that’s not realistic, my faith has served me well. I’ve never been in charge anyhow! I rely on God to show me where my responsibility ends and His begins. I can only do my part. I must trust Him with the rest.

There has been no shortage of speed bumps along the way, but, I’m happy to report that Hillary is looking and feeling better than ever as she approaches her 23rd birthday. Again, that summation “two steps forward, one step backward” has pretty much applied to her whole life. We are blessed that Hillary has never been admitted to the hospital since her initial discharge. Her diaphragm is held together by gore-tex and it has served its purpose up to this point. As is fairly common with CDH children, weight gain has been a struggle for Hillary for most of her life. Most people only wish they had that problem!  If you saw her eat, you would be pretty amazed at how much she can put away. There were a few things the doctors told us to expect as she grew up—asthma and scoliosis. Their advance notice was correct, but thankfully neither issue has required any extraordinary measures. The scoliosis causes its share of musculoskeletal pain, but the curve itself isn’t severe. I’ll never forget when I first noticed it. It was a picture from her Confirmation when she was in 8th grade. I lived with her all that time, but it took a picture for me to notice that her shoulders go “downhill” from right to left. Perhaps it only became noticeable during a growth spurt in adolescence.

The biggest hurdle, and most recent, took quite some time to diagnose.  Two years, in fact. As I recall, it started as a cough that just would not end in 2014. Her cough was accompanied by chest pain. That always puts CDH parents on high alert. After a few unsuccessful attempts to treat Hillary’s cough, her pediatrician heard a “rub” while listening to her heart and referred Hillary to a cardiologist at Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh. He diagnosed Hillary with acute pericarditis in the spring of 2014. There was fluid around her heart. She had lost a substantial amount of weight by this time and was having frequent weight checks at her pediatrician’s office. The fluid had resolved by early in the summer only to resurface at the end of the year. The following July, a different cardiologist wasn’t so sure it was pericarditis at all. He suspected that it might have something to do with her pectus excavatum and referred us to a pediatric surgeon. In the meantime, she had a CT scan and it showed lesions on her right lung that would indicate infection. Even though Hillary’s pectus is fairly severe, the surgeon did not feel that a repair would alleviate her symptoms and did not recommend proceeding to surgery. The ball was thrown back into the hands of her pulmonologist in October. That led to a bronchoscopy in January of 2016.  Though the preliminary pathology was negative, eventually Hillary tested positive for mycobacterium avium. A second sample verified that diagnosis. That put Hillary on the fast track to the Infectious Disease department in March, just over two years after the cough/chest pain began. She had many doctors stumped along the way, including the ones in the Infectious Disease department. “Lady Windermere Syndrome” (Hillary’s mycobacterial avium infection) almost always occurs in older, thin women with a history of pectus excavatum. Hillary was prescribed 3 high powered antibiotics to treat her infection. She took all three for an entire year. Thankfully, she responded beautifully without too much fallout in terms of side effects. Three years from the start of it all, she was symptom-free. Hillary has really done well since that difficult season of her life. She put all that lost weight back on and even added to it once she was finished with the antibiotics. Her primary issues these days are related to her scoliosis. That creates havoc with her musculoskeletal system. She finally looks healthy though!

Hillary will be celebrating her 23rd birthday in June and we thank God for every one of them. She is currently pursuing a doctorate degree in Occupational Therapy at Gannon University’s Ruskin, FL campus. Since she benefitted from occupational therapy as an infant, she’d like to focus on children in need of such services as a way of giving back.  


Our first picture—a very real reminder of how it all started and how far she’s come since!

YOUR Room is Ready

I’ve been telling many of my friends and family, “YOUR Room is ready” for months now. Here I sit, writing in the car as my husband and I make our way south to FL to spend the winter with our daughter and escape the cold of Western PA. Hillary will be there for the next three years pursuing her doctorate degree in OT and needed housing so buying a townhouse was a win-win decision. There are three bedrooms in our townhouse. I affectionately refer to the third one as YOUR. You see, the hardest part of this whole snowbird thing is that we’re leaving a whole bunch of special people behind in PA. I miss them already! Though I’m looking forward to this new chapter, it’s somewhat bittersweet.

The passing of a loved one can also be a bittersweet experience, at least if that person is a follower of Jesus. While the heartache is real and painful, we rejoice that they are no longer in pain and suffering. It brings us comfort to know that they have reached their eternal home.

When my beloved 16-year-old nephew went to his heavenly home in 2007, the following scripture passage was read at his funeral & memorial service:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”                                                                                                                   John 14:1-4 NIV

In the midst of deep grief, these words were comforting. Unlike our townhouse in FL, there are many rooms in God’s house. There WILL be room at this inn for all who believe. Your reservation was made the day you turned your life over to Jesus. And guess what? YOUR room will be ready! He will come for you and take you there at just the right time. He said so!

You may be familiar with these words from the chorus of the popular hymn When We All Get to Heaven:            (Sing it if you wish!) 

When we all get to heaven

What a day of rejoicing that will be

When we all see Jesus

We’ll sing and shout the victory…

If you are mourning the loss of a loved one, I pray you will find peace and comfort in knowing that one day, in His perfect time, you will be reunited. It will indeed be a day of rejoicing!

Until then, YOUR room is ready in FL (reservations required)!

The Young and Influential

“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.”

1 Timothy 4:12 NLT

If you read my most recent post last week, you’ll remember that my emotions were running high in anticipation of my daughter’s upcoming college graduation on Sunday. This would be true for any parent, but as I said last week, due to Hillary’s battle against CDH, each milestone achieved is magnified a hundred times over. Well, she did it! And by the number of cords draped around her neck in addition to the medallion, she did it quite well. I was about to pop on Sunday! There were many who didn’t think she’d last at Thiel because she was quite apprehensive about the whole college experience in general. After all, she had a pretty good thing going at home! Following a rocky beginning, she immersed herself into both academic and student life at Thiel. She not only survived her 4 years there, she thrived. And I might add, she didn’t feel well for three of those four years. We will be forever grateful that Hillary found the right fit for her when she chose Thiel College.

I was so amped up after the big day that, even though exhausted, I had great difficulty sleeping Sunday night. Eventually I gave up trying and got up and started pouring through the pictures I had taken. It was when I cropped the one above that I was completely overcome with emotion. This picture represents the two young people who have had the most profound impact on my life. I have my arm wrapped around my precious miracle named Hillary Jayne and if you look closely you’ll see I have “Alec” pinned to my heart where he remains whether I am wearing the pin or not. For those who never had the pleasure of knowing Alec, he was my beloved nephew who was much like a second son to me. We shared a deep passion for sports among other things. He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at Age 14 and fought back with everything he had for two years before God called him home on July 28, 2007. He demonstrated an extraordinary amount of courage and faith for one so young and touched so many with his faithful witness throughout his battle.

The Hillegass family has experienced two very different outcomes with these two precious children. I don’t understand why and I don’t believe that I will on this side of heaven. In the middle of my high on Sunday, my heart ached deeply for Alec’s parents because I was acutely aware of the milestones they would never have the opportunity to witness with him. Yet they were there cheering on Hillary.

When we don’t understand, we have to cling to His promises. There are so many that we can lean into during times of uncertainty. Perhaps my favorite is Romans 8:28—

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

So, though we may not understand, we can trust that He will bring good from even the worst of circumstances. There were lives far beyond family members that were impacted by Alec and his faithful witness as he bravely fought back against cancer. He certainly made the most of his dash. I believe Jesus used Alec and his story to change lives for eternity. There is no age limit to which God can use us for His purposes!

In closing, I’d like to return to Hillary for a moment. Obviously, God isn’t done with her yet. If you are reading this, He’s not done with you yet either. There’s still work to be done, lives to be changed, etc. Ask Him what plans He’s got for you today and listen for what that assignment might be. I thought I was going to continue preparations for a new semester today, but God handed me some writing material this morning and here I sit. Be flexible for you never know when those divine interruptions may occur!

I was asked to write a letter to Hillary to be placed in her sorority scrapbook to put a cap on her senior year at Thiel. Well, that was quite a daunting task. Much like my failed first blog attempt last week, I didn’t know where to start or where to end. Eventually, the way I ended it applies to each and every one of us. We each have a unique story based on our life experiences. I have no idea why she’s been through everything that she has, but I do know this—-every single part of her story came with a purpose. I told her that her story has not been wasted. Neither was Alec’s. God uses the circumstances of our lives to mold us and shape us and make us look more like Jesus. Of course, it goes more smoothly if we cooperate! What has God been up to in your life? What is YOUR story? You know, stories were meant to be told. Who needs to hear yours?

 

The Journey

On Sunday we will celebrate another big milestone in our daughter’s journey through life. These occasions always cause me to be reflective and highly emotional. As part of my therapy, I had determined to share part of that journey with you through my writing. I found that was easier said than done yesterday. I didn’t know where to start and where to stop. After many hours and countless words, I scrapped the whole thing and went to bed late last night. The truth is, I cannot condense what we’ve been through with Hillary in her 21+ years to a blog post. It deserves a book! Maybe someday….

For those unfamiliar with her story, Hillary Jayne is our miracle baby. You’ll have to wait for the book to fill in the gaps, but I’ll paint the big picture now. She was diagnosed with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH) in the womb. The hole in the left side of her diaphragm allowed her abdominal organs to come up into her chest cavity and take up the space where her left lung was to be developing. She was given a 50% chance of surviving IF she was born in the right place at the right time. By the grace of God, she was. She came out fighting and has been fighting ever since! Hillary had her hernia repair surgery when she was 6 days old and spent the first 88 days of her life in intensive care at Allegheny General Hospital. I remember the neonatologist describing Hillary’s hospital stay as a series of three steps forward and two steps backwards. That’s a net gain of one, right? We’ll take it! Even with the medical advances today, 50% of babies born with CDH do not survive.

CDH isn’t just a hernia. The 50% that do survive live with the threat of complications of it for the rest of their lives, including the very real possibility of reherniation. So, as they say at CHERUBS, the CDH Support Group, “Just because the hole is fixed, doesn’t mean the battle is over.” For instance, Hillary recently spent a whole year on three high-powered antibiotics to rid her good lung of a serious mycobacterial infection that was indirectly related to her CDH. It hasn’t been smooth sailing for Hillary. Far from it! I guess that’s what makes each milestone that much sweeter!

I believe God has lessons for us in each of our life experiences. Nothing comes to us without a purpose. Without question, Hillary’s story is the experience that has had the greatest impact on my life. I look at life differently now because I realize just how precious it is. Each day is a gift from God, not to be taken for granted. In the words of Jesus:

I have come so they can have life. I want them to have it in the fullest possible way.”  

John 10:10b NIRV

Jesus went to the greatest of lengths to give us life. It would behoove us to make the most of it. Let’s not squander today, for tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Live life….enjoy it…celebrate it…and give God thanks for it!

On Sunday we will celebrate the college graduation of our precious daughter. This milestone, like every other one before it, will be magnified times one hundred because of the journey that brought her here. I couldn’t be more proud. She has overcome so much adversity in her 21+ years and has excelled in spite of it all. Or perhaps BECAUSE of it all. When they call Hillary Jayne Leipold on Sunday and she crosses the stage with numerous cords and medallions draped around her neck to collect her diploma, her devoted fan base will be there leading the cheering. That is, all except her mother who will be too choked up to muster a WooHoo!