God has allowed this patient patient to get more practice since my last post. I never quite made it out of the tunnel. Instead, my faith muscle is getting yet another workout. The lyrics from the chorus of one of my favorite choir songs say, “we’ll walk by faith and not by sight.” That is where I find myself today.
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
Hebrews11:1NIV
The Problem Identified
Following my most recent blog post, my incision broke open again, nearly seven weeks after my 2nd surgery. That led to another 5 days in the hospital and more surgery. Testing revealed why I wasn’t healing—I have a post-operative MRSA infection that reached the bone. Another neurosurgeon “washed out” my neck and I began a 6-week course of IV antibiotics. I’m currently about halfway through my treatment.
The Solution
I get an infusion every 12 hours lasting 77 minutes. There is no physical proof that this treatment is working, at least not yet. That’s where faith comes into play. I’m choosing to believe that healing is underway without seeing any evidence. That is, I’m walking by faith, not by sight.
Faith Defined
Faith is defined as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. There’s nothing wrong with having faith in my doctors and the medicine they prescribe, but, if my faith is limited to that, I’ve missed out on something so much greater. Biblically speaking, the object of our faith is a God who knows no limits. He is all-knowing, all-powerful and ever present, yet invisible. I know He loves me. Exhibit A: Jesus. Ultimately, that is Who I’m choosing to trust. How about you?
The byproduct of that decision…
“The Lord gives perfect peace to those whose faith is firm.”
Isaiah26:3CEV
May His good and perfect will be done in my life and in yours. Stand firm!
Though not up for writing much at this point, it wouldn’t seem right to let Christmas pass without a word. With every writing, it is my desire to remind myself and each one who reads it that Jesus truly is the Ultimate Gift. He perfectly fits the size of every heart. You can be assured that He is your source of peace, hope, joy and love.
Update
I am in the early stages of recovery from spinal surgery (laminoplasty). I will admit that I was at peace AND scared half to death all at the same time leading up to the surgery. As promised, He was right there with me every step of the way. And still is as I make my way back. I’m discovering the road to recovery to be a long and winding one but am so very grateful to be on it.
A Different Christmas
Getting ready for Christmas by December 13 was no easy task, but, in His strength, I reached my goal. It seems so strange spending the days leading up to Christmas resting rather than going 100 mph in fifteen different directions. I’ve actually watched some Christmas movies this year rather than just talked about it.
Timing
In some ways mid-December is the absolute worst time to schedule a surgery, but in other ways it was absolutely the perfect time. During this Advent season, I’ve been reminded nearly every day through various readings that Jesus is the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and the Prince of Peace. I’ve not only read about it, but I’ve also experienced it firsthand, before, during, and after surgery. I’ve been in His hands all along and there’s no better place to be.
Jesus–the Ultimate Gift
I pray that you too would experience all the benefits that come with receiving the Ultimate Gift. Jesus came so that we would have LIFE and have it in abundance (John 10:10b). Enjoy that life and thank God for this indescribable gift (2 Corinthians 9:15).
Have you ever been on a seesaw? It’s been a while for me, but I remember how hard it was to get in balance with the rider on the opposite side. The heavier one ended up sitting on the ground while the lighter person was suspended in the air. Getting in balance required some delicate redistribution of weight. I have found that to be true in my life with the weight of my various commitments as well. That has never been more obvious than in the past few weeks when my pace essentially went from “rabbit” to “turtle” overnight!
Two Extremes
Rabbit
The weight of my “to do” list last fall nearly grounded me. It’s not that any of my commitments required too much of me, but rather, it was the sum of those commitments that pushed me to my limit and beyond. I didn’t know if I was coming or going some days. God was faithful to provide, as always, but I knew I needed more balance in my life—less Martha, more Mary! What kept me going was knowing that January, and a chance to catch my breath, was right around the corner.
Turtle
It’s January! I am enjoying the life of a snowbird once again. Fewer commitments equals less stress and more margin. That’s all good, but the drastic change of pace has been a real shocker. I’m not good at sitting still, but I’m getting some good practice this month!
December and January have been extreme, in opposite directions, and I could use some balance.
How Do We Find Balance?
Jesus perfectly demonstrated balance in His life here on earth. The demands placed on Him were FAR greater than anything I’ll ever experience, yet a 24-hour day was enough for Him. How did He do it? He looked to God, not to people, to determine His priorities. Sometimes that meant that He had to say “no” so He could say “yes” to what was most important.
“Very early the next morning before daylight, Jesus got up and went to a place where he could be alone and pray. Simon and the others started looking for him. And when they found him, they said, “Everyone is looking for you!” Jesus replied, “We must go to the nearby towns, so that I can tell the good news to those people. This is why I have come.””
Mark 1:35-38 CEV
When we’re “out of balance,” let’s learn from Jesus. He not only modeled it, but He also taught it:
“But more than anything else, put God’s work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well.”
Matthew 6:33 CEV
I frequent Aldi and one of my favorite cereals they sell is called “Balance.” The cinnamon version is my preference. Balance, at Aldi, is comparable to “Life” cereal made by Quaker Oats. If you’re of a certain age, you may remember a commercial for Life featuring Mikey back in the 70s. Much to his brothers’ surprise, he liked it!
Balance—like Mikey, I like it!
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Once we got the bride outfitted for the big day, it was my turn to find just the right attire for the mother-of-the-bride. That was a tall task, but eventually there was agreement on the best option for me. Mind you, we did all this online. I went to place my order and asked for some help by clicking “What size am I?”. That took me to a chart of measurements for the various sizes of the dress. I took my measurements and found them to be ALL over that chart. I think it may have been best to toss the dice to figure out which size to order! As a result, I ended up ordering a “try on” dress to determine if I liked it enough to have it made specifically for me. There is no turning back with a custom-made dress. If you order one, it’s yours—like it or not!
The Comparison Trap
This dress experience could be a metaphor for my life. I never did fit into the box very well! Being the youngest of my parents’ three daughters, I naturally looked up to and followed the lead of my older sisters. I still do! We grew up on a dairy farm and they both won the title of Somerset County Dairy Princess when they were 16. I succumbed to self-induced pressure to enter the contest when I got to that magical age as well. As it turned out, I crashed and burned during the pageant, completely freezing during the onstage interview. I can laugh about it now, but it was humiliating at the time. What was I thinking? I don’t even like milk!
Living Outside the Box
Whether it was my sisters, my classmates, or other peers along life’s journey, I always seemed to be comparing myself to others and coming to the conclusion that I just don’t fit into the box. There were times I was thrilled by that, like when I was the only girl on my Little League and Junior Legion baseball teams. But, more often than not, I felt like I just didn’t measure up. To me, it seemed like I was always living outside the box where I thought the “normal” people resided. Well, guess who constructed that box? Me! I was my own worst enemy.
The Impact of Two Books
You may have picked up on my use of the past tense in the preceding paragraph and are wondering what changed? And when? It was a book that was written 20 years ago AND a book that was written some 2000 years ago that changed my whole perspective.
Twenty years ago, Rick Warren wrote The Purpose Driven Life, and I participated in a church-wide study of it shortly thereafter. There were 40 readings, one for each day of the study. It was Day #2 that changed everything for me. The title of that reading is “You Are Not an Accident.” Perhaps you need to hear that today just as I did back then. Your parents may or may not have planned you, but God certainly did.
“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.”
Psalms 139:13 NLT
We are custom-made by God. He made each one of us ON purpose, FOR a purpose. And guess what? God doesn’t make mistakes! That was a game-changer for me. My parents and yours possessed exactly the DNA God needed to create us.
“I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born.”
Isaiah 44:2a CEV
Let that sink in. We were custom-made BY God and FOR God before we even took our first breath. Our purpose for being here is to bring glory to God, but that will look different for each of us because we have been uniquely created by Him. Once that truth settled into my heart, I felt several pounds lighter. There was no longer a need to drag around my personal “measurement” box to see if I fit. I started living into who He created me to be, and that freedom refreshed my soul.
No Box Necessary
From the words of Christian artist, Francesca Battistelli, “I’m free to be me; And you’re free to be you.” God wouldn’t want it any other way.
The Perfect Fit
I entered my measurements and placed an order for that mother-of-the-bride dress that I tried on earlier. My custom-made dress should arrive in another month or so. No alterations necessary—I’m counting on it!
